SISTER RAYA ORIGINAL PAINTING BLUE PORTRAIT ABSTRACT       So here is one of my latest on canvas 16x20 currently in my ebay store at buy it now or best offer - click the link under the Blue Girl if you would like to see a close up.   The story We all have moods and I guess that day I was feeling blue so I painted this sort of inner self portrait.  I have been thinking a lot about respect. A lot of things are subtle. Comprehension makes something real. I can talk about respect all day long and still not know what I'm talking about. I'm not even sure if being treated with a lack of respect is even something a person can detect consciously. If someone makes a joke at your expense and it really is funny, you laugh. Its all in good fun right? but what if it happens a lot. You are laughing yourself crazy with this person's outrageous sense of humor but somehow you end up being the willing butt of a lot of jokes.  I guess to make a long story short is that respect is something of an awakening for me. Disrespect hides itself in many forms. Being a victim of a subtle psychological move can turn the victim into an abuser without realizing it. The feelings of fear and insecurity just keep piling up year after year until finally the mind cannot take anymore and the awakening happens and it can be seen. Just like when a fog lifts.   What does being made fun of do to a person if it is a habitual ... Anger. Lots and lots of anger. Sadness of feeling isolated from the group, forced into a cruel solitude.   No one understood ADHD back when I was growing up. Many people still don't believe it exsists or accepts the disorder as a medical fact. They think you are a slob or neglectful or inattentive or stupid. It is a battle. It is horrible. You are most likely not to be met with compassion but you will be met with contempt. You will be ridiculed and feel you deserve it in every way because you know something is not right but you can't put your finger on it. You get to be the butt of the "blonde joke" or the bimbo or the scatterbrained airhead comments. You get to lose jobs because you loose stuff, forget stuff and people think you are sloppy, neglectful, incompetent. No matter if you are trying with everything you have to stay focused.   I am still an ADHD adult. It hurts. It is hard to organize anything. But I am not going to disrespect myself for being the way I am anymore. Mostly because I want to feel respect for others. I can't do that if I don't respect myself. I'll write more about it later. I have to go paint another picture.   I don't know if I am making any sense to you but it makes sense to me. If my words can't define maybe the painting will.   www.sisterraya.com  new orleans outsider folk artist

Beautiful & Honest, both the painting and about the artist!:)

Sister,

Sometimes I wonder if some people who have been diagnosed with ADHD are actually just busy, interesting, talented people who multi-task? What do you think?:P

Joyce
http://artblogin.com

Joyce, multi tasking is a talent for sure, I like your take on it!:)

Wonderful work Sister! I too enjoy your pure honesty! I don't know if I would say I have ADHD...but I often have multiple ideas racing through my brain at once,and often have trouble focusing on one painting when I have ideas for five others on my mind. I do have two nephews who have been diagnosed,and are medicated. Both of them are very talented,and sensitive,and creative people. I also agree with Joyce. Sometimes I feel it is a societal view that makes ADHD people feel that there is something wrong with them. If you are happy and content in your own skin...maybe there isn't! Just my opinion!
Celeste:)

This was a great thing for me to read because I think it may be my problem with keeping my art sorted on my puter so I can list. I think I get simply overwhelmed with the task of prepping for listings. I look at the computer screen and it's just all these digits that make
a visual pattern sometimes. It's hard for me to sort through to find words.

My brain gets so full it won't allow anything else in sometimes. I have to puke out all this stuff inside me to make room.

It's amazing to me how well you function online with this problem. I just keep having to do things over and over and over again. THEN I hear all these awful stories about problems with buyers and sellers. That doesn't help.

The worst of it is that I FEEL something is wrong with me, and I feel embarrassed that I've talked about listing and then have such difficulty doing it. Makes me sound like a flake (which I HAVE been at times in my life).

Thanks for writing this, Sister, you are indeed a STAR!